The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Honorifics for Every BDSM Role
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When it comes to BDSM and kink, honorifics are a staple—but they’re far from mandatory. You don’t have to use honorifics in your dynamic to have a strong connection or powerful scenes. But when you do? They add a whole new mental stimulus that can completely change the energy in the room.
Honorifics help you get into Domspace or subspace with a simple word or title. Some people have multiple honorifics depending on the kind of play. For example, you might be Bunny during rope play to channel your inner pet, but go by Lil One in your daily dynamic to keep things sweet and grounded.
The most important rule about honorifics? Consent is everything. Never call someone by an honorific without their explicit permission. Honorifics are about honoring the soul and boundaries of the person you’re playing with, not about labeling or controlling them.
Choosing the Right Honorific: It Should Feel Like You
Picking an honorific isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. The right name should feel like a natural fit for your dynamic. Start with what vibe you want to bring:
- Do you want to feel powerful, regal, or commanding?
- Soft, cherished, and protected?
- Mischievous, bratty, or somewhere in between?
Try out a few names during a scene. Say them aloud, whisper them, or journal about how they make you feel. If it doesn’t sit right, try another. You don’t need to stick with “classic” names—Greek deities, flower names, or even made-up words are fair game.
Remember: the best honorifics breathe power into your soul and elevate both the user and the usee.
How Honorifics Hit Different in Play
There’s something about a name that lands differently depending on the scene and the tools you’re using. Picture this:
- You’re holding your Pocket Paddle, looking at your submissive, and the right honorific slips from your lips. Suddenly, that name holds weight — it’s charged with anticipation, respect, and a little delicious fear.
- Or, you’re kneeling, collared in your Peekaboo Collar, eyes lowered, waiting for permission to speak. A soft “Good girl” becomes a powerful tether to your role and your partner’s desire.
As The New Topping Book puts it:
“Naming your partner in scene can call their entire role, desire, and memory into the room like a spell.”
— Easton & Hardy, The New Topping Book (2003)
Honorifics by Role: Next-Level Ideas to Try Tonight
Here’s a curated list of honorifics that might be new to you, complete with quick vibes or definitions where they might be less common.
Doms:
For Those Who Break the Mold ☁️⚡️
- Captain — commanding without being cold
- Headmaster — rule-giver and punishment-keeper
- Alpha — pack leader energy
- Rex — Latin for “king,” but make it niche
- Sultan — opulent and controlling
- Shogun — military ruler, precise and powerful
- Tyrant — consented control to the extreme
- Stag Daddy — primal, dominant, in heat
- Pharaoh — godly, ancient dominance
- Harbinger — a bringer of intensity, foreshadowing your ruin
Dommes:
She doesn't take control - She is control. 💋🔥
- Succubus — seductive, draining you on purpose
- Domina — classic, Roman-inspired command
- Drillmaiden — strict, exact, and very thorough
- Lilith — powerful, independent, mythic femme
- Mamabun — nurturing and dangerous
- Hexbitch — she curses and you like it
- Matriarch — the one who built the whole system
- Inferna — like fire, but feminine and fatal
- Blood Countess — elegant and terrifying
- Incarnate — literally sin, lust, or chaos made flesh
Subs:
Soft, Spicy, and Everything In Between 🥹💦
- Geisha — graceful, obedient, attentive (cultural note: originally Japanese entertainers, use respectfully)
- Bug — small, clingy, loves to be squished
- Consort — regal companion, elegant and adored
- Rune — magical symbol, full of meaning
- Kajira — slave girl from the Gor novels (use mindfully!)
- Bootlicker — says it all
- Worm — low, needy, degraded
- Clit-boy — eager, used, and useful
- Sinspawn — born from filth, and happy about it
- Honeypot — sweet and sticky, always open
Switches:
Masters of the Mood Swing 😇😈
- Siren — sings you to shipwreck
- Keeper — holds power and gives it away
- Rogue — plays the game on their terms
- Minion — obedient (for now)
- Jester — chaos agent, clever and underestimated
- Hellpuppy — bratty, loyal, bitey
- Bat Bitch — unhinged with wings
- Cerberus — guards the gates and the leash
- Chaos Pixie — sparkly disaster
- Demon of Mischief — says they’re done. They’re not.
Wildcards:
Forget Roles, Feel the Vibe 🌒💅
- Sinistera — elegant, mysterious, commanding
- Brimstone — dangerous, biblical
- Raven — observant, brooding, poetic
- Venom — deadly, beautiful
- Onyx — polished but heavy, grounding and dark
- Vile Menace — chaotic, shameless, yours
- Hexpaw — witchy and feral
- Dollface — pretty and pliable
- Savage — loves the leash, still bites
- Dove — soft, cooing, made to be held
Why Honorifics Matter
The best honorifics aren’t just labels—they’re energy. They create a shared language of power, vulnerability, and trust. When you say a name that fits your dynamic, you summon the feeling you want to lean into.
And when you’re holding your Pocket Paddle, that name carries a little extra weight, crackling with the promise of what's to come. When you’re collared and kneeling in your Peekaboo Collar, hearing your honorific can ground you in your role and your partner’s care.
Final Thoughts
Remember, honorifics are a tool to deepen connection and enhance play. Use them thoughtfully, with consent, and with the freedom to change as your dynamic grows.
Try a name on like you try on a new collar or paddle—see how it feels in the moment, during a scene, or even in quiet aftercare.
And if you’ve got a favorite honorific that didn’t make the list? Drop it in the comments. After all, the kink world is richer when we name it our way.