BDSM vs Kink : A 3-Minute Breakdown
Curious about the difference between BDSM and kink? You’re not alone! While these terms often show up together, they’re not exactly the same thing. Let’s take a quick dive into what sets them apart—and why it matters for anyone new or exploring their dynamic.
Definition
BDSM is not just a blanket term used to describe spicy sex involving whips, leather, and masks. In fact it has a much deeper history and etymology then contemporary culture often understands. Let’s start with the four-letter acronym BDSM. A common misunderstanding is that the abbreviation only stands for four terms, when in fact, it represents six, Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
Each of these are grouped together as shown above. Bondage with discipline, Domination with submission and Sadism with masochism. This is a visual reminder that we cannot have one successfully or healthily without the other.
Etymology
While the components of the above acronym can be traced back to 1886, when Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1) coined the terms "sadism" and "masochism," the roots of BDSM stretch much further back in history. For instance, the Marquis de Sade, who was imprisoned for his sexually explicit writings in the 18th century, is the namesake of the term "sadism," derived from the behavior of his fictional characters. These historical moments show that BDSM has been evolving long before Western culture began documenting it and will continue to grow into the future.
This brings us to a more recent term in sexual contexts: Kink. In the 21st century, "kink" used as a substitute for paraphilias (2), meaning "love beyond the usual" or "abnormal love/sexuality." Simply put, a kink is any sexual practice or interest that falls outside of conventional or "vanilla" norms.
Within the ever expanding umbrella of BDSM, there are countless kinks—ranging from spanking and role-playing to bondage and 24/7 power exchanges. For a more complete list of kinks to try out or research please read here.
Importance
When it comes this form of sexual expression, having kinks, identifying as kinky, or being a self-proclaimed "kinkster" means one essential thing: the conventional side of sexual interaction is not where you find the most pleasure. And that’s more common than you might think! A 2016 study (3) found that nearly half of participants reported an interest in at least one category of kink, and one-third had tried kink at least once. What matters most is that it is all about discovering what works for you and your partner.
So, if you’re looking to explore and find new ways to have fun with your spouse, remember: there is no right or wrong way to kink. As an ever evolving form of art, fun and expression we should never forget, the best way to approach kink is to discover and evolve it exactly how you want.